A Journey into the Deep: Suppress Emotional Traumas

Writing about the difficulties of our human existence is not easy.  In order to write a post that may have relevance to readers, I must have a connection with the subject. Deep healing to free myself of inhibitions has been my life-long pursuit. But it is not all about the journey inward. Here is a short tale from a master healer.

In many indigenous cultures the path of medicine is one passed from person to person with great seriousness. The Medicine Way is a full-life commitment to Great Mystery, the people, and the instruments of medicine. 

One Legendary Spiritual Guide told a story of the time shortly after his teacher handed him this responsibility. The teacher's instructions were, "Do not ask the people to face any obstacle that you have not faced in yourself." The new initiate accepted the task and determined to follow this mandate with great discipline. He made a deep voyage into the ceremony vision quest-style with the belief that total immersion would strengthen his bond with Great Mystery, the medicine, and his relationship as a guide of the people.

After a full lunar cycle of high ceremony he summed up the experience like this:

I have taken this medicine every day for a month, and have determined one thing -

I do not want to re-live my childhood any more.

It’s true, in previous posts I have given no guidance on how to “make it through” a therapeutic pivot point such as releasing birth trauma. Like in the shaman’s story above, there is no promise of higher awakening to God or self-mastery. In fact it would be irresponsible for me to tell someone where this experience will bring him/her. I can state with certainty that the feelings ushering in the release of early life wounding will be sensations that are familiar and uncomfortable. It is almost certain that these feelings have been the catalyst for learned escape mechanisms.

“Why is it always something I want to avoid? Why is it the tender spot on my soft underbelly?

Why is it something that throws my entire life into a tailspin?!?”

The reason for this is almost universal.  The original experience was overwhelming. Our socially conditioned mechanism for correct coping had no way of managing the newness, volume or speed of an experience, or series of occurrences that happened in our early life. Quite likely there was no therapist standing by to shelter us while we diffused the original mental and emotional shock. In that moment, once our known strategy for coping with “this type of situation” was expended, we stored the remainder of the feelings and thoughts inside ourselves to be sorted through later.

It can be said that trauma is a natural byproduct when a person has had too much of a new experience, or that experience happened too fast, and the entire emotional impact was not released on the spot.

A perfect example of healthy emotional release is seen in newborn babies. Have you noticed that infants are openly and spontaneously expressive? This is because they have not learned social conditioning yet. As external experiences create internal sensations, an infant will express directly from his/her gut. From a holistic health perspective emotions are the way our internal organs release excess energy. This is a natural pressure valve to avoid damage to the organ. For a child to scream bloody murder at a sudden fright is completely healthy. When a baby feels loss his/her grief is completely expelled through tears and wailing. An infant's anger is a gasket-blowing rage, his/her joy is full-body intoxication. These are healthy releases that come built-in with the body.

How do we manage to store trauma even with this built-in release mechanism? At about the time we learn to speak in phrases we become responsible for our social educations. This is a necessity. Our social education is a set of fundamental skills for dealing with life in the natal culture. These skills conduct us intact (more or less) through development and into adulthood. Our parents, siblings, peers and authority figures are our teachers. They show us how to absorb external experiences consciously. Thus we learn to tone down the spontaneous output of our organs to an appropriate proportion. These subtle lessons accompany situations that occur regularly, such as surprises, disappointments, frustrations and anxiety-producing events.

We absorb quite a bit from our role models in the pre-school-to-puberty years, so whatever our strongest social conditioning source demonstrates is what we will learn. This is a “for better or worse” education. If the person we most closely bond with uses food to suppress emotional expression, for example, we will learn this coping strategy as a conscious alternative to full emotional release. Conversely, if that parent indulges in fits of rage at the first sign of inconvenient feelings we will follow this strategy as well.

Here is an example of a subconscious response that followed me into my thirties.

When I was about 4 years old one of my relatives came for a visit. One morning she, my sister and I were hanging around talking. My sister was able to answer and jibe, having picked-up social interaction quickly. But I was less skilled.

At one point the conversation turned to how pretty we girls were and how did we get so pretty? I had no point of reference for this question, and just played along.

“Do you think you’re pretty?” she asked me directly. I didn’t know what to say, so I said “yes…”

I was entirely unprepared for the peals of laughter that followed. “Ahhaha! She thinks she’s pretty! Oh, that’s so cute! This girl thinks she’s pretty!”

Though her voice was still laughing, these words were delivered in a way that did not equate with the fun and friendly game we had been playing.

It was the first time that my attempt at truthfulness had been turned against me. I had no social conditioning for the experience of being shamed.

For many years to come any comment on my appearance, either positive or negative would trigger a deep desire to cover my face.  I hid behind a mop of hair rather than show what could be a shameful face to the world. I began to cut my hair to cover as much of my face as possible, which lead my mother to comment that I was trying to “ugly up” my appearance.

In college I was re-unite with this relative and came to understand her way of humor was to

Art therapy: Perceived and Potential self image.

poke at other people and re-tell stories out of context. She had her reasons for this approach, and I did not think to judge it. Though it served her purposes, I began to realize that this strategy had informed my self-confidence in a way that was utterly unnatural for me. Though unable to re-connect with my source of self-love, I had the epiphany that a major in Drama was the wrong direction for my education. I had been practicing wearing masks but not wearing my truth.

Eventually I made my way through Shiatsu school, a direction that shed light on the call to service. I began digging into the inhibitions that held me back from full participation in the work but continually balked at a dark self-loathing inner-twined with my feeling of self-worth.

After Shiatsu school I assisted in an international child-protection summit as an organizer. One of the participating presenters complimented me on my work behind the scenes, at which I squirmed and attempted to escape.

"Just accept the compliment!" she finally said.

This was the push I needed to remind me that part of me was still waiting to be felt. In the safety of therapy I was able to explore the avenue this genuine compliment had opened. It lead to the key experience, which I brought to consciousness for a more adult decisions on how to express fully the feeling I had at the age of 4.

The very first time I allowed this feeling to re-emerge it had the same quality as when I was young. There was a mixture of confusion, bewilderment and extreme negativity toward myself. Once I’d felt it in a more mature frame of mind I knew I had been unprepared for the original experience. I had not known my truth at that time. Social conditioning had not taught me how to deflect feelings that did not belong to me, or re-direct my awareness toward compassion. Luckily the feelings were stored deep within me, waiting for the moment when I could re-connect and grow more fully into my truth.

Having transformed this and other early-life experiences, I know that it is not something that every adult is willing to go through. After all, most adults have earned their positions of respect in life and will not stoop to the level of expressing their elementary school emotions. There is one thing I can say for those who will go to this depth: you will become more human for having done the journey.

As a parting note, I would like to add one thing to the Legendary Spiritual Guide's statement. We are not prepared for everything in life as it happens, however we are given a natural process of maturation that empowers us to find the good in what we have endured. We can then openly stand beside our friends and loved ones as they, too face the obstacles that have held them back.

The Intensity of Healing the Birth Wound

Please entertain, for the sake of perspective, this hypothesis: the specific circumstances of our birth provide us each with the "original wound" of this incarnation. Until we acknowledge and embrace this experience it will subtly inhibit our path toward realized self-hood.

Though there is much conversation in healing circles about energies that piggy-back into our present life incarnations, my hypothetical statement deliberately leaves out past life or soul group connection. As a shiatsu practitioner it has been my work to delve my own depths to better help correct those same (but different) inhibitions in clients. This study has yielded a fine-tuning point for gathering clues to support deep change: stay in this life and this body.

As many of us will agree, being born is intense. Though we do not have the mental dexterity to register the exact sensations in the moment, we are able to re-connect with certain depths of this experience as we become independent beings. Naturally, the parents notice instinctive responses in infants before the baby becomes aware of its own actions. Abnormalities in instinctive responses may include the following:

• Any person who was induced to be born may have a perpetual resistance to being externally motivated in life. Or conversely be unable to motivate without strong stimulation and support.
• Someone who was separated from his/her mother directly after birth may carry anxiety of being alone or abandoned. This person may have a difficult relationship with sources of nourishment, especially if his/her own mother's milk was not given in the first days. If this person is unable to make the initial bond of primal human embrace, he/she is likely to fumble through natural development stages.
• If a person did not go through the birth canal (ie. because of cesarean delivery) he/she did not make the primary journey from the womb to the stark reality of life. This person is disposed to collapse when faced with physical struggles, may lack timing and aptitude under the pressures of life.
• When a woman receives epidural injection during labor, the infant comes into the world anesthetized. The influence of drugs blurs the lines between the in-utero dream-state and air-breathing world. The person will not have a normal pain threshold, and may be unable to register experiences as they happen.
• When a baby is extracted with forceps pressure is applied to his/her head and neck beyond that already present in the birth canal. This child may be extremely sensitive to external stimulation and cry much more easily than seems in proportion with an experience.

I myself was injected in the crown with a local pain killer. Aside from creating disorientation and skewed since of perspective, my early life experiences were influenced by lack of peripheral sensation in my skull. I grew-up with bumps all over my head from running into things and no instinct to protect my head from cold and wind. On a psychological and emotional level, I realized in young adulthood that I had not developed separation from other peoples expressions of ideas and emotion. With the help of many hours of psycho-emotional therapy and years of self-study I came to realize the sensation of healthy boundaries.

Though we can easily blame our parents or the attending physician for these early traumas, the reality is that these experiences belong to us. Bringing this fact home may be a difficult and winding road, fraught with projections and painful emotions. Many people mire themselves for years in victimhood, yet this brings them no closer to the essence of their lives than remaining ignorant of dysfunction. In the long-run it is a personal journey.

The parent may attempt to speeding along a  child's healing, which may eventually support a young person's ability to accept help from outside sources. Some parents may happily assume the blame to release his/her child from the pain of self-recognition. To this parenting instinct I offer no encouragement. My only advise to parents is to be patient, allow the child to express it's own experiences and provide compassionate support for the natural healing process. Each parent has his or her own birth experience, and has healed from it to the extent required for adulthood. If a parent truly wishes to help, he or she will make an example by continuing to brave unknown waters of healing his/her original wound, and demonstrate understanding for other adults working through their own processes.

According to my original hypothesis, the deepest healing of our lives is accessed through early impacts on our physical bodies. The body is constantly at work shuttling our mental and emotional lives through the current reality. Through our lives there are myriad opportunities and doorways to self-healing. May we all welcome the challenge to open our own doors and accept these deep experiences as part of our selves. May we learn compassion to support this same healing in others.

Five Self-Care tips for traveling

Travel by airplane is both a blessing and a curse in our modern lives. Probably 10 percent of my chair massage business is on people who have recently flown and just don't feel quite normal. In this post I would like to offer ideas given by natural medicine to help a person “land” more gracefully.

Cover your "Wind Points"
Ever notice how air conditioning can cause a subconscious shrug of shoulders to ears and desire cover upper arms and lower legs? This is because your immune system is attempting to regulate your core temperature. In Chinese medicine the "Wind Points," where the neck and skull meet, and points around the wrists and ankles, are the considered vulnerable to temperature shifts caused by a breeze. When these points are exposed to wind for too long, they become tender to the touch, especially the ones behind the ears. We begin to experience aches that shift around the head and shoulders, and our bodies automatically sneeze and shiver in an attempt to adjust our natural defensive energy.

• On every airplane there are personal air conditioning units pointed at each seat. My first recommendation when settling in for a flight is to shut off the air flow pointed toward your seat. Another important maneuver is to wear a long-sleeved or hooded shirt and pants to the airport, and put on a scarf and socks during the flight. This will keep you cozy and protected while in transit.

Return to the ground by opening your feet
Chinese medicine recognizes a main physical grounding point below the ball mount of each foot. This point, known as "Bubbling Spring," is usually a sensitive spot in line with the middle toe. This point ushers energy upward into our bodies, and becomes closed when the feet are confined in tight shoes, after physical exertion and when the nervous system is exhausted. Because air travel takes us so far away from the earth, the Bubbling Spring point closes during flight. Symptoms of this point being closed include pain in the feet and legs, feeling disconnected from the body, craving stimulants to stay focussed or dozing off.

• Upon landing, a wise traveler will always re-open this point before carrying on with his/her plans. Some methods to accomplish this are to receive foot reflexology, self-massage on both feet, or to re-establish grounding by walking around barefoot soon after landing. If you experiment with opening your feet after a flight you will notice more productivity, focus and better sleep on the day of travel.

Bring a piece of home
One of my Chinese medicine teachers advised a modern adaptation of an ancient centering technique. Before embarking on long distance travel, fill a small pouch with earth from your home. Best if this is from the location of your primary meditation or Tai Chi practice area, the belief is that a small amount of earth containing the energy of your home will keep you physically and mentally stable. Many of us already do something like this on a small scale with family photos, jewelry and clothing given by our loved ones.

• To get the best results from this ritual, bring a small piece of your personal practice space. It may be a pebble from outside your gym or yoga studio, or as my teacher demonstrated, earth wrapped in cloth. Make it small and light enough to carry with your personal belongings. This familiar energy reminds you of deeply established good habits, and can sustain you temporarily in the absence of your self-cultivation routine.

Keep your digestion happy
Sudden onset of digestive extremes are a well-known part of trips away from home. Known as either "vacation constipation" or "traveler's diarrhea," intestinal fluctuations occur when we enter different food and beverage zones. No matter how exciting and delicious these exotic flavors are to our taste buds, they are completely foreign to our digestive systems. To support your easy landing in foreign food zones I recommend focussing on these three points: primary digestion; carrying familiar foods; and local dietary combinations.

• First, maintain your primary digestive fluids. This means plenty of saliva. Chewing sugar-free gum on the day of travel, and before and after the first few meals in a new place will support natural enzyme production. A well-known qi-gong practice is cultivating saliva by massaging the gums with the tongue and gently pressing the teeth together. Do this if you prefer not to chew gum. At meals, chew your food thoroughly. As with the between-meals practice mentioned previously, this helps the breakdown and easy integration of new foods as they enter the upper intestines. 
• Second, bring food from home. Not so much that you need to check extra luggage, just enough of the snacks you eat every day to support familiar exocrine production. Especially if your travel takes you to a place with vastly different cuisine, eating tidbits from your regular diet keeps your pancreas engaged with normal enzyme production while it is adapting to new digestive needs.
• Third, eat the whole meal. This does not mean eat everything on your plate, what I mean is if an alcohol or extra sauce is traditionally served with cultural dishes, include that in your dining experience. Many food zones have common ingredients that cause low-level irritation in the bowels. To get value from these potential digestive hazards, people include counter-acting components to balance a  meal. Such "antidotes" may include wine, fermentation, salsas, spices, cheese/yoghurt/oils, astringent vegetables or strange flavored fruits that accompany a meal. Pay attention to the order and speed in which local people consume these things for clues to your internal contentment. Also, skip the menu items deemed "daring even for locals" at the start of a vacation.

Be aware of hydration, humidity and temperature
Water sources, mineral content and purification methods vary vastly around the world. One disappointment in my travel has been intolerance to local water. Remember, just because it's good for the local population doesn't mean your internal organs will efficiently absorb water from a foreign continent with the first sip. Our bodies produce antigens to water-born microorganisms, however this often includes a dramatic process. With regular water intake being vital to every human being, the reality that we cannot comfortably drink from just any local source is probably most telling illustration of how sensitive our bodies are.

• Attend to your source of water as soon as you arrive. I suggest locating an abundant supply of bottled water. This is important for the morning after travel, as our bodies absorb hydration most efficiently before midday. 
• If the travel destination is more humid than your home environments, you may not be thirsty after re-hydrating from a flight, however your skin will automatically lose moisture if the outside temperature is higher than normal. Skin maintains an acceptable degree of moisture in our home climates, but requires greater fluid intake when we move closer to the equator and greater oil intake as we travel toward the poles.

I hope these self-care suggestions shed light on previous travel discomforts and help alleviate their recurrences in future adventures. Even though we are capable of communicating with people around the world in real-time and can hurl ourselves across oceans within 8 hours, we are still fragile biological organisms at the foundation. Please pass this information on if you find it useful, and share your own special tips for landing with ease in the comment boxes below!

Best wishes for health and joy,
Christian

Recognizing Sources of Pain

Many of us in the US function on the idea that the Physical, Emotional and Spiritual parts of us operate separate from each other. If all these independent parts are somehow balanced, this is an innocuous thought. The moment pain happens that cannot be explained physically it no longer works so well.

According to a friend in nursing school, in "Western" medicine pain is what the patient says it is. A patient with any complaint of pain is examined physically and treated physically to help him/her not feel pain. If there is no pain or symptoms of disease, a medical doctor has no reason to change that patient's normal course of action. There is nothing wrong. Simple enough.

I asked my nursing school friend what he was taught about emotional causes of pain.
He stymied for a moment and then wanted to clarify: emotions as a result of pain..?
"No," I said, "emotions as the cause of pain."
He replied that this idea is an alternative approach, more like "Eastern" medicine. In the Western sciences a patient with persistent complaints of pain with no perceivable physical cause is referred to psychological or mental health disciplines. Depending on the patient's social background and/or insurance plan, this option may improve the patient's condition. Results of psychological treatment are completely unpredictable.

In other words, the idea that non-physical causes of pain can be assessed and treated by a medical practitioner is an entirely Non-Western paradigm.

As a bodyworker I represent the alternative approach. I am a silent partner to chiropractors and "progressive" physicians and physical therapists who recommend massage for long-term muscular tension that functional doses of medication do not resolve.

Whether referred or not, I touch hundreds of people each year. In my experience it is undeniable that the Physical, Emotional and Spiritual aspects interconnect and directly affect a person's comfort.

The following observations are from years as an alternative health care professional. I feel sneaky divulging this information, as if I'm giving away trade secrets even though these are realities of my work. I have no intention to disprove the importance of Western medicine, physiology or biochemistry. My intention is to open a window into collective thinking. I believe that a unique blend of the paradigms as needed for each person. Please regard the following with an open mind.

Physical Pain as a result of external causes:
In Chinese medicine "external causes" are referred to as External Pernicious Influences. "Pernicious" has the inference of gradual or subtle nature, and thus includes climate conditions: excessive exposure to wind, cold, summer heat, dampness, dryness, or heat such as a from a furnace. Other causes of pain/disease with external origins include pathogens/pollutants/poisons and physical injury such as caused by impact or cut. These include being bitten, stung, broken, dislocated, knifed and shot.

With respect to external causes of physical pain Eastern and Western medicine for the most part agree,  at least to the extent of initial treatment: remove the person from further damage; remove as much toxicity/poison as possible, treat a wound, and support efficient organ functioning to return full health.
Longer-term assessment techniques and further treatment methods differ wildly between Eastern and Western medicine.

Physical Pain as a result of internal causes:
Yes, Chinese medicine recognizes Internal Pernicious Influences. This refers to excessive, unexpressed emotional climates. And yes, a traditionally trained Chinese physician will treat someone for unexpressed Anger. It is up to the patient to cope with his/her emotions in a healthy way, but the responsible physician will follow-up with probing questions on return visits and advise resolution. The following are the "negative" emotional stagnations: fear, grief, anxiety, excessive worry, frustration, anger, and joy. Indeed it is possible to have an excess of joy, which manifests as mania commonly counter-balanced by depression.

Western science has seen the chemical transformation that takes place in an individual experiencing strong emotional stimulus. In fact, the theory of a "holographic" experience is becoming more widespread among biochemist. This is evidence that the memory of an emotional event simulates an exact replication of the brain activity that occurred at the original event. It stands to reason that a single emotional event, left un-expressed/"un-treated," can potentiate unlimited emotional traumas as unrelated events trigger that one memory.
Further studies in neuroscience have uncovered our addictions to these experiences. Whether a "good" or "bad" feeling is invoked, the more times a person reproduces emotional situations the more normal they become to the nervous system.

An Eastern approach to treatment would support the organ networks that have been weakened as a result of the excess in one organ. Depending on the duration of this internal disorder there may be cause for deep cleansing and nourishment of blocked or starved physical systems while the patient learns how to safely release his/her emotions.

Physical Pain as a result of spiritual causes:
Just to throw that paradigm-twisting element at you, this piece challenges the idea that our Spiritual body consists of the belief in God or not. In the Eastern paradigm  Five essential Spirits are endogenous to each major ("storehouse" or yin) organ. Within the Lungs we have Ancestral Spirit, which manifests physical, genetic characteristics; the Kidneys house our unique direction in life, called the Willpower, our Spleen contains our Cogitative function, giving us discernment in processing tasks; the Heart houses the Shen, our Animate Spirit, that helps us interact appropriately with each other; and the Liver somehow contains our Astral Spirit, which connects our mind with the experience of physical embodiment. In the perfect human life a person will continually check in with the needs of each Spirit, thus live a balanced and smooth life in harmony with his/her nature.

The greater likelihood exists that a person allows external influences (namely family, friends and society) to dictate his/her interaction with life. As it is stated in religious texts the world around, the voice of the outside world is hardly ever the correct voice for a person to follow, thus we inadvertently damage our individual Spirits in the effort to "do the right thing" by our own health.

Before discounting this possibility altogether, recall the scientific evidence that our smallest particles are compose of "mostly nothing." Some scientists call this the residence of Spirit or Consciousness. Pain with spiritual causes almost always manifests as a lack of energy, focus or connection. There may also be restlessness, frustration and confusion, or fear when faced with new situations. It can be reasoned that if a person denies his/her natural impulses for long enough the organ that contains the corresponding Spirits begin to show signs of neglect. These signs vary among the organs and according to what the person does to negate his/her "inner wisdom."

Throughout the day each organ has a two-hour phase of peak energy. This flavors our experience as that organ energy raises to dominance, and is useful information to determine which of the Spirits may be weak. An Eastern doctor may question a patient's annual cycles to determine the depth of a Spiritual disorder. An inquiry into dietary habits and family tendencies is in order. Treatment may involve gradual but thorough changes in much of what a person has done for years or decades to create the pain condition. On a metaphorical level, this sort of treatment involves leaving what is "known" behind and venturing into a deeper knowledge of "the self."

I invite all readers to share experiences, revelations and comments, etc. regarding pain that has a seemingly nonphysical origin. In Western culture it is an under-discussed subject, in my opinion.

Take heart in the Eastern axiom "If there is pain, there is energy to solve the disorder." 

It is a matter of opening to a bigger, or different picture, investigating further possibilities and having a willingness to follow the path not travelled by people around you.

Best wishes for your abundant health!
Christian

The Benefit of Self-Care

"If you are not actively keeping your body healthy, you are passively allowing it to deteriorate."

Kikuki Zutrau Miyazaki, Headmaster Shiatsu teacher, Boston Shiatsu School

Self-care is a little-known practice in the US that has potential for tremendous improvements and supports conscious re-balancing of our body systems. Also known as "prevention," it consists of small, medium or large acts of awareness. It can also be called "maintenance," as our bodies truly are highly sophisticated biochemical mechanisms.

In my years as a body work therapist, the two most common reasons for not doing self-care:
1) no time/money/memory for that.
2) feel like it is self-endulgance and takes time from other people.

In this post I have two objectives:
1) to point out the real, simple nature of self-care.
2) to convey the benefits of self-care.

All healthy, natural cultures have self-care built into daily and yearly life. In our American Dream we allow ourselves to answer to the time clock rather than our natural cycles, and have this idea of independence from birth to death (okay, maybe from graduation to death... ). Both of these external impositions on our health exists only in our minds.

All natural beings seek support.

In observing the natural world we see continual self-regulation. Natural beings move toward homeostasis, as seen in worms crawling out of water-soaked ground, and mammals storing food for the cold season.
Children and animals are our best role-models for natural self-care.
They pay attention to the little cues of their bodies. Any time there is an ache, a shift in mental focus or a feeling of indigestion, this is a sign that balance it needed. It isn't taught in school, in fact, it's taught out of us in school. We learn to suppress our impulses, to not respond when these physical, mental and emotional cues call on us.

How do we re-connect when this has happened?  Let's consider how infants act if given full rein to express themselves vocally.

Joy through Laughter - Connecting with the human spirit.
Grief through Sobbing - Releasing loss when a loved-one departs.
Anger through Shouting - Release pressure from unwanted experiences.
Anxiety through Singing - Drawing attention to the environment.
Fear through Screaming - Dispersing the intensity of a surprise.

These are pure, innate expressions that we are all given. If you observe carefully, infants use their voices with precision, vibrating their whole being with sound. As the energy of a moment moves through them, their moods change. And they might make something change that creates a greater harmony around them... imagine that!

But you're an adult, so how does this work for you?

Exactly as it works for little babies, only you have a more mature body and can control the volume and intensity of your voice. But do you? Even just vocalizing some small sing-songy question to release some anxiety when things seem just a little out of balance in a group? Will you try that for me and tell me how it goes please? 

Our voice can be medicine, too!

What happens when you do these little stress-releases is wonderful and unexpected. Just like with the baby crying because his toy went over the edge of a high-chair, you start to feel different. Maybe even better! And guess what happens next? You get a choice!

Because you're an adult, you can let go of feelings and make choices about reality. That's what we get with long femur bones, we get choices to bend down and pick up the toy we just dropped or recognize that it's time to stop playing and move on to what needs to happen next. Or ask someone for help. Why not? You just freed your voice! Use it!

Simple as it may sound, this is self-care. If we listen to our inner cues and act upon them, we will find our way to a better lifestyle! As in the quote from Hippocrates, one of our first physicians, if you grocery shop "out loud" you will be able to hear your voice telling you what food is good in your body. Pay attention, you might find yourself shouting that someone is between you and your cheese. What is that cheese really doing for you that is worth the anger?

The moral of the post: When you attend to your own self-care you become more balanced. More balanced people do less erratic things, listen more attentively and help inspire awareness in the world around them. It is a service to humanity, in other words. I encourage you whole-heartedly to practice this simple act of kindness as often as possible.

Best regards for abundant health,
Christian
http://www.mindbodyenergetics.us/shiatsu.html

The hardest part....

As I've been writing this blog on getting out of a rut it occurred to me that someone reading it might think I have an answer for him or her personally. I want to be clear that the only person I have an answer for is myself. I know that if you are in a place where change is needed in your life, you also have your own answers. I share my understanding with the intention of inspiring new perspective.

Some people say if something we are doing is not working, awareness of this glitch is the "first step." After all, they might reason, we wouldn't even see an "innocuous habit" as a Problem with out awareness. I am more proactive, plus I'm a body worker and therefore solution-oriented. I think this logic is actually only a half step, and provides a stopping place for needed change. On the bright side, a half step gets us off the spot we've been occupying for perhaps years. But it is important to ask "How long will acknowledging a (fill in the blank) problem actually change the negative effect on my life?"
(In defense of many, it is a testament to the magnitude of self-improvement that people stop on the precipice of "awareness is the first step.") My question to a person using awareness as a stopping place is, "Do you want to improve your life?"

If you really want to take the first step, look beyond awareness. This is unknown territory where we are faced with the real shocker: it's Your problem. 

This is like putting both feet on the train rather than standing with one foot on the platform. Owning your problem will get you in deep, will show you a path you took for a very good reason sometime in your past. Most importantly, owning your problem takes all the responsibility off everyone else and plops it right where it belongs, on you. At some point that choice you made all those years ago needed to be re-evaluated, but for whatever reason, you didn't go there.

Once you've taken the first step to improve your health and well-being you are faced with the hardest part: staying in the discomfort until a new path emerges.

If you are committed to self-improvement, as the moment to check-out of awareness looms and you decide to wait and learn from it, life becomes uncomfortable.

Our minds have carefully constructed escape routes to take us away from this moment. The first thing we do is engage a habit. This is sneaky, because there are benefit of habits. They are necessary, they keep us involved in life rather than giving complete focus to menial tasks like washing dishes or making breakfast. The thing about habits is that they either make your time more efficient or successfully waste it for you. Are you employing these highly useful tools to distract you from an emotional experience? Are you conscious of what some habits are hiding from you?

The one useful suggestion I have at this point is to practice impulse control: ask "Why?"

"Why do I refuse to speak before my first sip of coffee?" "Why do I say the same thing to the first person I see at work?" "Why do I go to the liquor store at the beginning of a shopping trip?"

This may seem tedious and exaggerated, but it's one way you can make all of your choices conscious.
Many of your answers, if you are honest, are quite legitimate. "I don't feel human before java jolts me into reality." "I am juggling my keys, cell phone and brief case as I walk in the office and just want to get to my desk." "I have a date every Friday and want to get the wine while I'm at the store." These are perfectly truthful answers and productive uses of habitual actions.

It's when you and find another person as the subject, or becoming irritated at your mind for inquiring that you have found a habit covering a poor choice. "Coffee reminds me of a time when life was happy." "This job sucks and I don't want to share my personal life here." "My father did it that way." These are clues that you are on auto-pilot and could benefit from deeper examination of your choices.

What to do once a well-formed habit is no longer hiding an on-going, negative choice? My advise is to ask: "how do I feel with this?" And then be real.

You know improving your life is not going to happen with the same habits that took it down. So begin to get into your life in the moment. The most readily available tool we all have for this act of self love is our breath. It can be your shuttle into feelings that inform you of previous choices. Our breath is the most powerful tool we have to release physical discomforts that are a result of suppressed emotions. As you are choosing to wait and ask why, whatever you've been hiding from will emerge. You can detect this event of emergence because it will change how you breathe. At this moment your breath will represent for you the protective mechanism you activated to shield yourself from difficult experiences in the past. It got you through those moments then and it will get you through the moment now.

The only rule of breathing through a feeling is Let it Go!

I suggest that if you are diving into this openning you be in a safe place and have a good amount of time available. In our culture we have a strangely useful increment of time called "an hour" which is a good amount of time if you are going into completely new territory. If it's a place you've seen and are braving repeat forays to gather more information, 15 to 30 minutes might work well. Mainly I want to emphasize the actual fact: if a poor choice has been hidden deep enough to have an obviously negative effect on your life, it will take a few trips to identify the root.

For most of us, myself included, the first time we look this closely at our lives is a point of crisis. It could initiate a major life change or an earnest "house cleaning" spree. As you learn more about why a choice has entrenched itself in your life you might become aware that outside assistance is needed. I will venture no guidance at this point as this is a highly personalized moment. You have already found the way into your heart, the answers are ready for you to know.

 "Heart Plunger" : one of the hundreds of Art Therapy pieces I did at the beginning of Shiatsu school.

Inner Smile* : )

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,

but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." Thich Nhat Hanh

Aside from focusing on relaxing your breath, Inner Smile is probably the simplest way to improve life in the moment. It is well known that a genuine smile from one person, even a stranger, can be infectious. There is scientific evidence that the act of smiling releases endorphin peptides from the pituitary gland and hypothalamus, producing a full-body sensation of well-being.

But in the heat of difficulty, in moments of anxiety or strong emotion, how do we conjur up this same effect?
My suggestion: cultivate and draw on your Inner Smile.

As the word suggests, a practice that cultivates something is more intentional than simply smiling and calling it good. Concentration and direction will improve your long-term results, and taking time to re-fresh the source of your smile will bring you a fountain of joy even in the most dire moments.

To begin, get some space and time when you will be uninterrupted. I suggest a minimum of 10 minutes.
The basic steps:

Smiling in your Mind -

• Calm your breath and settle into your body.
• Close your eyes and focus on the space in the center of your head at the level of your eyes.
• Bring to mind a time/place/event that brings you happiness. 
• Hold this thought and breathe with it for at least 30 seconds.
• As the thought of happiness affects your pituitary gland, stay aware of the feeling in your head.

Build an Inner Smile pool in your Mind -

• Continue to breathe as the feeling of well-being naturally produces a smile at the corners of your mouth and eyes. Allow this sensation to build in your head, strengthening your smile and shifting the sensation in your brain.
• Note: It is common to experience discomfort after the first 10 seconds of Inner Smile cultivation. This is due to a number of naturally occurring variables. Continue to breathe and focus on your joyful thought. You are on the right track and with patience will feel the pressure ease. It is important to be persistent and give it as much time as needed for your brain to adjust to the natural release of endorphins.
• Once you get the feeling that your inner mind is "full" with the energy of your smile your exhales will be long and relaxed. 

Store the Inner Smile in your Heart -

• Now is the time to begin storing the energy in your heart.
• Allow the smile to pour down into your chest and permeate the cells of your heart. As the heart is a natural conductor of joyful energy, this step will happen faster.
• Continue to breathe and experience your mind smiling into your heart. Notice the shift in your chest. 
• Dwell in this sensation thoroughly! This is a natural storage place for your Inner Smile, so fill it with your best.

Return the Inner Smile from your Heart to your Mind -

• Once the open, uplifted sensation is well-rooted in your heart, allow your heart to return the smile to your mind. This will create even greater sensations of well-being and relaxation.

This is the first loop of the Inner Smile!

If you still have time and would like to continue, create another loop between your Smiling Heart and your abdomen. This area is known as the dantian or One Point.
You can rest the Inner Smile in dantian or complete the loop from your mind to your heart to your One Point and back again. This is a full-mind/body Inner Smile.

As mentioned above, this is a cultivation practice thus best begun before needed. Well-practiced people need only focus on the space behind their eyes and exhale to complete the initial loop from Mind to Heart. After practicing only once you may be able to bring forth your Inner Smile with only a few breathing cycles.

If you practice this a few times weekly, soon you will notice that new events spring to mind when beginning a practice session. This is a great sign that you are returning to a natural state of relaxed contentment. Your progress is confirmed when people start asking what is making you so happy!

Feel free to leave comments and questions below.
See my website for more information about Shiatsu therapy and my natural healing work.
http://mindbodyenergetics.us/shiatsu.html
best wishes for your Inner Smile cultivation,
Christian

* The name Inner Smile and above method was presented to me in 2000 by a teacher of Mantak Chia's Universal Healing Tao lineage.

Shiatsu Practitioner mandate

In 1998 the Boston Shiatsu School released me onto the world a Shiatsu Practitioner with four mandates: do no harm; always be a student; be healthier than your clients; and teach people.

With very few exceptions, I have remained faithful to the first three, with the last, teach people, always looming as something that will come in time.

My intention with this blog is to share my understanding of natural health. I have lived an extremely healthy life since learning basic Shiatsu and beginning my study of the human experience. There are so many small balancing maneuvers embedded into my everyday life, I now consider caring for myself to be part of my job description. 

Turns out I've learned quite a bit along the way. To support the world of humanity more fully, I intend to offer as much as possible through blog format. What I cannot give in blog, I will attempt to share through teaching events. I plan to make use of the resource available through my workplace, Bodywork Bistro, when classroom space is required, and otherwise will schedule events in public parks around Boulder.

I invite everyone who reads this Shiatsu Blog to reply with comments and observations. As a perpetual student I learn from every possible source, and do my best to maintain authentic presence and integrity in the process.

For today, I end with questions. You are welcome to answer in a comment. What does self-care mean to you? How many times a day/week do you do something that qualifies as self-care?

Please contact me with questions about Shiatsu or to make an appointment in one of my Boulder, CO, locations.

Best wishes for a wonderful month,
Christian
mindbodyenergetics@gmail.com