Autumn: letting go and freeing space

Autumn has arrived. In a classic sense we know it to be the time of letting go, for the leaves to fall, to shed the old and prepare for colder weather. Lest we forget one important aspect it is also a time to create space for new energy to come in.

Autumn in context of the Metal/Air Elemental Phase

Metal stretch pt. 1: inhale

In Chinese medical theory the element associated with Autumn is Metal/Air, its organ association is the Lung Network (Lung is the yin organ and Large Intestine is the yang bowel).
You did read that correctly, Metal and Air are considered the same elemental phase.

We commonly associate metal with consistent structure. It conducts electricity, vibration and temperature while maintaining it's form, but metal it is a state of matter that transforms. With enough heat it evaporates water and eventually melts. Enough cold makes metal retain water and harden. In the presence of specific other molecules it rusts or corrodes and changes it's primary nature.

In much the same way air transforms according to environment. Like metal, air evaporates water when warm and condenses water when cool. Though air may seem less solid than metal, it provides an immediate structure for our reality. The first breath of air is our initial interaction with life, and the last breath is positive indication that a person has left this world. With every breath we transform the air around us. Air conducts constant molecular exchanges among animate and inanimate beings.

So in our bodies the Lungs and Large Intestines provide the inhale/exhale, intake/output functions that begin at birth and continue until death. It is a perpetual exchange with the world around us, transforming substance through our natural living processes. Much like the season of Autumn, through the Metal/Air aspects of our bodies we draw the environment in, transform it, and then return what is no longer of use to us.

Metal stretch pt 2: exhale

Ways to maximize the seasonal energy: balance climate & support organs
In the Chinese medicine flow, we transform our inner environment throughout the year. The climate associated with the Lung Network is dryness. This balance is achieved with spicy, pungent flavors.
Our bodies will naturally crave flavors that support dryness in Autumn. The preceding season, Doyo, is the season of dampness. The Doyo flavor is sweetness which nourishes and supports digestion. If sweetness has been overdone dampness gathers causing sluggishness and stasis. Signs that the body has become "damp" are nasal congestion, excessive mucous, swelling in the joints and constipation.

Autumn flavors stimulate and dry the internal environment. Spicy herbs that provide this function include capsicum, pepper, rosemary, thyme and ginger. Drying allows the natural cleansing of digestive organs that have been dampened. Spicy/pungent foods such as onion, scallion, garlic, leak and radish are also effective for this function.

Conversely, if the body has not gathered enough dampness it may be too dry. This causes nasal membranes and skin to crack and bleed. Constipation is often a dry heat condition, which may be due to insufficient cell hydration. In these instances we may naturally move toward sweet and moisturizing foods such as red dates, beans, grains, and oily foods. Also look for electrolyte/mineral-rich beverages and purified water rather than sugary and caffeinated drinks to rebalance the Large Intestine.
A simple external solution for nasal congestion is nasal irrigation. And of course there's the good old fashioned coffee enema for more persistent clogs.

Metal stretch pt 3: inhale

The most common way to support the Lung and Large Intestine in Autumn is a colon cleanse. Cleansing agents may be as simple as high fiber additions to the diet or as complex as two- to three-week cleansing routines.

The simplest seasonal cleanse is slight modification of the diet. Large portions of cooked leafy green vegetables or adding ground flaxseed to hot cereal and baking mixes provide ample roughage for this purpose. This is a great way to keep the bowels flowing as colder weather changes the hours spent in outdoor activities.

Tea made from plants with purgative properties are more thorough yet still gentle. Some time-tested natural laxative herbs are cascara sagrada and senna, both common remedies for constipation. These are helpful for a deeper clean than dietary fiber can offer and are useful for a 7 - 14 day cleansing routine. Pre-made laxative or detoxifying tea blends will take the guess work out of finding the right mixture for this type of cleanse.

For even more thorough cleansing, use substances that absorb moisture and toxins such as a combination of psyllium and bentonite clay. This approach leaches dross from the inner gut lining and stimulates deep intestinal contraction to expel waste. My favorite pre-blended product is Perfect 7 which I find effective as a general Autumn cleanse. This product will involve a slight alteration in the timing of meals and requires increased water consumption for optimal results. It is recommended for a two week intestinal scour and may be repeated every other or every three months. 

For those who are new to intestinal cleansing or shy away from potentially intense experiences a gentle laxative tea may be the best start.

The whole picture: mental and emotional release and renewal

Metal stretch pt 4: exhale

Back to the pages of Chinese tradition we are advised to make use of the external season to support balance in our internal experience. The energy of transformation is high in the outer world. We can take the example of natural beings and allow our own Metal/Air element to balance. The psychological and emotional correspondences are attachment/release and grieving respectively.

Much like the physical functions of the Lung and Large Intestine, our minds naturally take input from the outside world and synthesize the useful parts into our existing structure. In an ideal world we release anything that does not serve us and carry on. In the real world we most likely take in the useful and hang on to the extra material just in case we need it later. If you don't think that applies to you, you may be the only clutter-free person on the planet! Our tendency to "hold on" mentally can be seen in the stacks of miscellaneous notes, buckets of small hardware or piles of clothes we haven't worn for years. Are there better places for these spare parts than in your personal space?

Emotionally we focus on allowing grief to flow through us. When this occurs in its natural timing our Lungs and Large Intestines move along with the same releasing energy and space is freed for new experiences. In the real world our grieving may be inconvenient or somehow stigmatized, so it becomes suppressed. The energy of stored grief closes down our lungs. After all, if someone who denies his or her grief takes a full, deep breath it just might stimulate tears. As anyone who has faced deeply suppressed grieving knows the spirit of courageousness is a companion to the energy of grieving. When loss is fully expressed and released a sensation of lightness comes into a person's life. It is as if he/she is taking the first breath of fresh air in years!

Grief is not the only emotion that clogs up our Metal/Air space. Holding frustration, anxiety, fear or sadness causes thickening in our bodies. Though it is emotional energy, it may cause physical symptoms of constipation and accumulation in the mucous passages. A combination of physical and emotional clearing can release stagnant emotional baggage, but earnest interest in moving on is also necessary to completely pass this type of stagnation.

On both mental and emotional levels, when we only attach to what serves our lives we effortlessly release what would congest our space. The Autumn season provides energy to clear out those unneeded bits of physical and emotional stuff in our lives. Though it seems daunting at the start, every time a person does the work of clearing out old, stale matter it frees the space for new opportunity to arrive.

For external physical support, I recommend the gentle and thorough practice of body work therapy.
Please feel free to schedule with me for Shiatsu therapy during my Boulder, CO, office hours:
Spruce Street: Tuesday and Thursday, 10 - 2pm
Iris Avenue: Tuesday, 4 - 8pm
Contact the Spruce Street studio at 303-440-1992, and the Iris Avenue center at 303-413-1992.

Best wishes for a clear and healthy Autumn!

Summer is Heart season

and you know what that means... Some of the common descriptors of the Fire element include heat, fire, passion, parties, love. 

Some less known, or perhaps less desirable, attributes of this season are excessive heat, sunburn, dehydration, mania, miscommunication.

Wait, what? Mania? Miscommunication? In this post I'd like to shed some light on how this is a natural human tendency. Some of this information may not fit perfectly into life as you know it.

In the Chinese theory of health there are 5 spiritual essences that reside within our bodies. Shen is the one that inhabits the heart of all living beings, corresponds with Summer and is associated with the Fire element. This word that has several meanings. My focus for this post is the primary reference: divine spirit or god. This is a universal, heavenly energy.

Through shen we are connected beyond the human experience with all livers of life! Humans find kinship with all creatures, insects and plants through this common bond. Those who focus on this innate connection communicate clearly and are enriched through this expression. Famous people in history are St. Francis of Assisi, Jane Goodall and "horse whisperers." 

Another way we use Shen is to convey our unique passion to others. Most commonly through the arts, shen is the source of inspiration for visual, performance and musical artist. Much to our delight food and drink creations "made from the Heart" are nourishing and delicious manifestations of shen. Artists who develop refined capacity for this expression become "household names," as with Ansel Adams, Meryl Streep and Julia Child.

In addition to the external,  creative expressions shen also manifests through internal expression. It may be called empathy, intuition or a psychic sense, this is an impression that calls one inward for deeper knowing. In a fantasy story this is the person who perceives the intention of the other group and diverts disaster. In ancient cultures this caliber of perception is more than a myth. The 8 Immortals are revered figures in Chinese history, human beings who achieved spiritual perfection and became guides for all who would follow them. In other cultures there are examples of seers retained by political leaders to advise them at crucial turning points. This type of intuitive was often cloistered or disguised for various reasons, thus their names are rarely seen in history. 

As with the expressive gifts of art, music and foods, the inner gifts of shen must be nurtured and grown. In modern cultures a powerful intuition is not the prized gift it once was, thus people endowed with a strong flow of shen must find some way to release the intensity of their knowing. Many make use of the expressive arts for this outlet. They paint, sculpt, write and compose with unique styles that touch our lives more deeply. Examples are seen in Salvador Dali, Emily Dickinson and Stephen King, artist who clearly have more than the average message to convey.

People who have no access to creative mediums may use suppressants or are medicated to keep their intuitive capacity under control. Many who are not addressed for their unique awareness through shen may develop patterns of manic depression (extreme highs of emotional energy followed by dramatic lows) or other "psychotic" behavior. The use of drugs, legal or not, is quite likely part of the "self-medicating" routine of these folks. In Chinese health care this may be called a "shen imbalance," meaning the spirit is not at home in the person's heart and produces erratic emotional expressions in an attempt to find peace.

But I have not addressed the point of miscommunication. Our hearts express themselves through our tongues, according to the Chinese theory. However, sometimes our hearts have something to say that our minds, cultures or relationships do not want to hear. This, too is a natural condition of humanity, and has no end of historic examples. 

On an individual level, we may all choose to slow down the flow of our lives to sort out the real truth of our hearts. This may be the most practical use of meditation and prayer. For those prepared to "take heart" and untangle communication, know that there is no need or desire of the human heart that does not have a place in life. Though it may bring us to deep humility, patience and change, our hearts are vessels of divine connection. In one way or another this reality is bound to bring our personal truth to fruition.

Wishing you joy, truth and love as the summer comes to a close.

Doyo, The Transition Season

The Five Elements Theory of life is a perspective on our world that takes into account the "elements" or "phases" of the natural world. The elements are Water, Wood, Fire, Air/Metal and Earth. As a treatment method, each of these phases has direct relationship to our bodies.
(For more information about this see my writing on the Six Divisions of Yin and Yang)

Cherokee Medicine Wheel

You have noticed in our standard calendar we have four seasons, which are easy enough to match up with four of the elements. Water corresponds with Winter, Wood represents Spring, Fire is the energy of Summer, and Air/Metal represents Autumn. Yet there is Earth. Five Elements theory recognizes this as the Transition Season, called  Doyo ("for the Earth") in Japanese. There are four Doyo phases in a year, approximately 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after each Solstice/Equinox. So the seasons are Winter, Doyo, Spring, Doyo, Summer, Doyo, Autumn, and Doyo. The Transition Season is beautifully illustrated in the traditional Medicine Wheel image (right) with the four main seasons represented each in a different color and the Earth Season shown as the spokes and hub of the year.

To backtrack just one step, the Earth element in our bodies correspond to the Spleen & Pancreas (considered one organ in Chinese Medicine, but referred to as "Spleen" for convenience), and the Stomach. These organs manage our nourishment, primary digestion, blood re-building, fluid normalization, and stabilize every other organ in it's position in our body. Thus the Earth Organ Network, the Spleen, is known as the Mother Organ of our bodies because of how much it does to nurture all other vital processes. Nature-based health care considers the Spleen function the most important process to support health, thus the philosophy "make food your medicine," is echoed in the axiom "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

During the Earth Season people see three main types of illness. The most common is the effects of dietary slips from previous seasons, which may manifest as weight gain, brain fog and achy joints. Second, physical injuries that were not fully healed re-surface. The third Earth Season ailments is mental/emotional fatigue coming home to roost from "being every where for everyone." This one will compromise the immune system if ignored, resulting in an out-of-season flu. So you can see that the Transition Season represents the Earth Phase in our external and internal lives. It is a time to pay attention to our whole body, to attend to unresolved problems and to nurture our personal needs.

Simple dietary solution is to cut down all preservatives, refined foods, sweets and anything that is slow to digest (heavy meats, hard cheeses, raw salad, dense bread) until mid-way through the next season. Incorporate colorful root vegetables and cooked or steamed greens, lighter meats and broth-based soups. Substitute desserts with fresh or dried fruits, and put a little more time between meals to allow complete digestion. Cleansing from alcohol and common toxins for a month will also allow the Earth Organ Network to function more efficiently with generally beneficial effects.

Sitting, the Spleen posture!

Actions to restore the Spleen Network are get more sleep, let go of excess busy work, delegate tasks that do no require your full attention, and re-incorporate favorite activities that bring you happiness. Breathing is a simple activity that greatly benefits the Spleen, so take in some fresh air!

Receiving bodywork will help remind you how good it feels to be in balance with your body and help heal that old injury. Mat-styles of bodywork are oriented around the organ networks, and thus elicit natural healing processes. Being closer to the ground and comfortably clothed will help restore a feeling of connection with the Earth and it's natural rhythm.

In Boulder, Colorado, the only reliable source of mat-style bodywork is the Bodywork Bistro. You can find out more at bodyworkbistro.com

Please feel free to schedule with me, Chistian Goldberg, for Shiatsu therapy during my office hours:
Spruce Street: Tuesday and Thursday, 10 - 2pm
Iris Avenue: Tuesday, 4 - 8pm
Contact the Spruce Street studio at 303-440-1992, and the Iris Avenue center at 303-413-1992.

Best wishes for a healthy Transition Season!

Basic information about physical and spiritual cleansing

It is becoming spring in my neck of the woods, so the impulse to do Spring Cleaning is up. No coincidence it is also the season of Lent. Though this is a custom most common to Christians, it is not an exclusively Christian practice. Voluntarily modifying the diet, fasting and other forms of purification are known as beneficial in most cultures.

Perhaps the most relevant similarity between physical and spiritual cleansing is seen in the adding or subtracting of substance from the daily routine. In both cases, chemical preservatives and mild toxins, such as alcohol, are discouraged. However it can be anticipated that physical level cleansing will recommend the addition of a specific natural substance for the duration, while a spiritual cleanse is more likely to recommend further subtraction of substance.

Physical Cleanses

Through time natural healers have learned to isolate and clear dead energy from any organ or physical system of the body. The process involved requires complete commitment on the part of the person being cleansed. The "cleansee" must be willing to modify daily consumption and ingest substances that would otherwise never appeal to the palate.

For instance, the most effective way to rid a person of multiple physical concerns is a colon cleanse. A typical protocol would suggest first ridding the diet of red meat, dairy, breads, sugar, and caffeinated/alcoholic beverages, as all of these have a binding, inflammatory or dehydrating effect. Then a specific cleansing agent, such as an herbal supplement, tea or substance such as charcoal or clay is added in specific proximity with meals. High fiber foods, such as spinach or broccoli, may be recommended additions to the menu.

Some of the colon-cleansing agents have a filling and leaching effect, which cause sluggish bowels in the first few days. Herbs may be recommended to stimulate contraction in the bowels to help deeply seated dead matter move out. This initial stage of discomfort is unavoidable, particularly for a person who is cleansing for the first time, and is the case with most other system cleanses.  Ideally no cleanse causes constipation lasting more than two days, however there may be diarrhea, a feeling of nervous tension, fatigue or emotional sensitivity for the beginning phase of any physical clean out. This is the initial physical release of waste matter, and on the emotional level functions as a sort of testing phase to make sure the person is willing to go the entire distance. As long as he/she persists, the discomfort will eventually pass. In one cleansing manual, the author prescribes prayer during this well-known initial release.

Once the bulk of stagnant matter is cleared a person will notice a greater physical ease. There will be a new relationship established with the toilet, but, a physical cleanse may begin at a person's convenience, and continue from 4 days to two months. Aside from slight dietary modifications and the addition of a cleansing agent, basic physical-level procedures may be added to the every day routine.

Beyond dietary additions, people with a history of cleansing have found benefit from external processes to support deeper physical cleansing once the first levels of toxicity have been removed. In the case of a colon cleanse, this may be enemas or colonic therapies. External processes for other types of cleanse range from holding a low-voltage electric circuit to daily Epsom salt baths to topical essential oil application to swallowing large doses of oil and/or vinegar. With this sort of process a person must modify everyday routines to accommodate time for the specific process. The duration of deeper cleaning protocols can be anywhere from three days to three weeks, and may be added into the basic physical cleanse time.

Someone doing his/her first physical cleanse is better off not adding external cleansing processes.

Spiritual Cleanses

These are often re-enactments of major turning points in the history of a spiritual group. Examples in major religions are Lent, Passover and Ramadan. Native American traditions perform the Sun Dance. These prescribed cleanses subtract specific foods (such as leavened bread, meat, meals in daylight hours, or all food and water) and certain activities, such as foul language, work or non-cleansing social contact.  Once the initial preparations have been made, spiritual community gatherings are increased during holy seasons. Depending upon the tradition the season may be from 7 days to 40 days long. Spiritual cleanses coincide with specific times in the year and have an exact duration. 

For instance, one orthodox tradition of Lent recommends eliminating all meat, fish, dairy, wine and oils one week before the season begins, and continuing for the 40 day period eating sparingly all but two days each week. For the entire Lent period there is one day specified for a complete fast (Good Friday). The addition of prayer and spiritual gatherings are highlighted during this process, and it is known that only the most pious (clergy) will be able to keep all the rules.

Eliminating any one food or substance from the diet itself will stimulate a physical level cleanse complete with the initial discomfort mentioned in above. Therefore, all people who take part in a regular spiritual cleanse will receive physical benefits. In contrast with physical cleansing, no specific substance is added to the diet, thus no internal process to draw a person's focus to his/her physical comfort. Rather the external process of attending community service, reading specific passages of holy texts and making personal offerings begins early in the ceremony. This makes any one persons process part of a larger community effort to gain clarity and greater connection with Divine Source presence.

From the beginning a person must modify daily activities to enact a Spiritual Cleanse. It is said in earth-based medicine, "the entire natural world supports a fasting person," thus many people will find themselves more often in nature or the stillness of a holy shrine during the depths of this season. It is a time apart from the regular flow of social life, a retreat for contemplation and personal communion.

Another specific difference in spiritual level work is in giving to others. This may be in the form of financial charity and/or in the focus of prayer. One church community may give prayer during Lent for a special purpose, such as the seeding of a new church, while Sun Dancers each carry the prayers of many people from many places in their time together.  In this way each spiritual cleanse opens a path for a sacrifice of sorts on behalf of others.

Ending a Cleanse 

In both physical and spiritual cleanses there are specified ways to "break the fast" as it were, or end the ceremony. With a sheerly physical processes an individual will certainly have a sensation of being somewhat different from the people around him/her. Spiritual communities re-integrate all together after the holy cleanse, thus have a group of peers to connect with as adjustments to regular life take place. Without question the people of a spiritual community will grow deeper bonds with each other through subsequent years.

As a specifically physical process, many secular people do not cleanse unless it becomes imperative. Those interested preventive medicine proceed with physical cleansing at regular intervals. Variations include one major cleanse in the spring, several shorter processes each season, one-day fasts into each week for a period, or the removal of specific substances for a few seasons to allow the organs to cleanse naturally. A well-known adage of the natural medicine world states "the body exhibits symptoms of illnesses developed four months earlier." Thus anyone tracking his/her physical fluctuations does well to consider what poisons or remedies were present in the previous season.

Spiritual cleansing is strongly supported in traditional religious communities. Anyone who was raised in such community will have witnessed or participated in these cleanses in childhood, and will certainly feel compelled to find his/her personal commitment to the ceremony as an adult. On one level these deep spiritual traditions serve to prevent habits injurious to physical health. However, for anyone who was not raised in these customs, the first enactment of orthodox Lent may have profoundly difficult results. Thus anyone wishing to begin this sort of cleanse does well to consider the experiences he/she was raised in and gauge the level of intensity accordingly.

Seek Support

As illustrated above, all cleansing for physical or spiritual health involves some education. Anyone who wishes to start one or both processes is wise to seek the support of people who have a history with that process. There are countless resources on physical cleansing available both online and at natural food stores, and many doors open for a person seeking to engage on a spiritual path. My first suggestion is for a person to connect with resources and communities that have a sense of familiarity, common purpose or similar background. Secondly, once the commitment to cleanse has been made, see it through to the end. Attend to all the steps involved. Even if it is a bumpy ride, a person's first cleanse is quite possibly the most important act in improving his/her health.

Ways of experiencing Love

As a post-Valentine’s Day offering I would like to share an interesting tidbit about love picked up in my studies of the human being. Most of us through history have come to the awareness of Love as a major component, if not the purpose, for our lives on Earth. From the seat of Western Civilization, ancient Greece, I found three conceptual delineations of the word “love” as it occurred to our philosophical ancestors.

Glittery, beautiful Eros...

The one we evoke most often at Valentine’s Day is eros, romantic, physical love. Eros is attraction oriented and appeals to lovers who do not wish to sully the moment with logic. Think Romeo and Juliet, Kermit and Ms. Piggy, and love-at-first-sight. This is magnetic and kinesthetic love. Couples that cannot keep their hands off each other are excellent examples of erotic love.

Though many of us believe we are looking for eros and all the pleasure it brings, more often the love in our lives comes in the form of philia, friendly love. This was a conceptual delineation made by Aristotle to denote “brotherly” love and loyalty toward friends. Our expression of philia is demonstrated through gestures of appreciation, community events and sharing common passions. I would hazard to guess that most people experience philia with co-workers and teammates.

Team spirit is the essence of philia.

Beyond the love of one’s neighbor is the higher love, agape. This is godly love, a spiritual connection that has the quality of universal, unconditional positive regard with the connotation of contentment. People who follow a spiritual leader express agape through offerings and acts on behalf of that person. This may be the special love between teachers and students, or parents and children. Many people connect with Nature as the object of agape.  In fact agape is an expression of the feeling people have with their pets.

Storge is a fourth word I found when looking up the above Greek words online. This means familial love, or affection. Storge also implies tolerance. Specifically in reference to a parent/child type of love, this is the human energetic that gets some children through puberty alive. Most often in literature storge is depicted as acceptance for a difficult family member. This is a very human sentiment that allows us to continue loving each other despite many flaws and mistakes.

Even if there is no eros in your life now, I hope that the above ideas support you in looking a little deeper into the magnitude of love in your everyday experience. Thanks to all of you who bring the more subtle expressions of agape, philia and storge into the world. I commend you on being an examples of gentle sincerity amid overt demonstrations of eros that are so popular in media today. 

The Beauty of Generosity toward Women

Have you ever noticed the amazing change in atmosphere when the sun pours through the clouds on an overcast day? In my years as a bodyworker I have seen a similar shift happen in people when touch reaches a place that relieves pain. Only recently, since finding love in a gentle man have I observed a subtle, gender specific nuance in this phenomenon: while men brighten obviously with the release of tension, it happens to the power of 10 in women.

When He supports Her, He feels Her gratitude.

As mentioned above, this awareness started when a fantastically supportive man entered my life.  He is someone who goes hundreds of extra miles for the people he loves, notices and interacts directly with emotional situations and has more patience for me than anyone I’ve ever known. It was after one of several times we worked together over the holiday that I realized how wonderfully light I felt. And how the small gestures of kindness he had given added up to contentment in my heart.

I have been back to my regular work as a chair massage therapist and guess what? I have found that imitating his spontaneous acts of kindness has yielded a universally positive effect! This seems obvious to the spiritually aware, I know. But the biggest surprise to me has been the extra portion of positivity it brings out in women.

How does this look in practice?

There is a basic level of helpfulness involved in preparing a clients to receive chair massage. As if I were the hostess at a party, I help clients with their jackets, jewelry, assorted items such as cell phones that may interfere with a session, and then find out exactly what is going on.

So what comprises the “extra mile”?

Though it may seem paradoxical, many of us in the bodywork world develop a sense of separation from clients as a survival technique. When a client comes from a place that has no perceivable similarities to our own, or a condition that takes a little bit of negligence to develop, we learn to go through the motions of helping them without opening to their true need. Results are fleeting.
In my highly unscientific experiment with generosity I re-acquainted myself with the original purpose of touch therapy. That is, empathy. It is one of the character traits of people who are in service. As a talent it must be developed through practice, and must be regularly restored. In my experiment with generosity I used this therapeutic tool, coming from a place of genuine concern for people's comfort without expectation of achieving results, as the unexpected gift for my clients.

A bit of back story for non-therapist readers:
In genuinely empathizing with a person’s experience a space opens between myself and the other. This is the place where the light of our human being connects without differentiation. It is a delicate and sacred place that may initiate healing in either of us. I may be confronted with my own wounds when open empathically toward another person. Therapists often work together in this space, possibly in a "retreat" or classroom setting where containment is established and guides are available if a pair should loose their way.
As a therapist "in the field" I do not have an external guide to support me if a deeply empathic connection initiates a healing for me, thus complete trust in our combined wisdom is my act of generosity.

My experimentation with open empathy is where the differences between men and women’s responses to generosity have been observed.

Mind you, these observations are based on chair massage sessions given in a very public place.

With a male client I can make a general assessment according to my perception, and give feed back something like “your arm has a pattern of extending far out of the socket." He may give a sigh and perhaps explain what work he’s been doing, (something like throwing a ball, a work project or incorrect overuse habit) and continue to receive touch in a more open way. As his mind and emotions respond to being seen, we continue the session with greater harmony. In longer sessions, there emerges a feeling of cooperation, as if we have changed roles and he is helping me resolve his own tension. He appears very relieved and grateful at the end of the session. All men seem to be born with genuinely amazing smiles, and give them freely when something unexpectedly pleasant happens. As a generalization, men who have received open generosity access and express the peace within, and seem more able to focus on work.

With a female client if I make a similar observation about her arm she will also heave a sigh, but it will come from a soul-level. She may give a reason for her arm being extending far out of the socket, but more than half of the time this is a statement of being rather than doing. She takes this moment of being recognized to acknowledge her inner need, and may say something like “yes, I’ve been very over-extended since …..  happened.” The opening that follows makes room for much more than a quick patch of the problem. In my observations a significant number of women will open deeply for core healing. In a public place and with any number of things remaining to achieve in the day, I have witnessed women allow decades-old splinters to be removed and integrated healing to begin. The women I’ve seen allow this are deeper people at the end of a session. The air around them is different. It is truly humbling to see the light emitting from a woman whose pain has been seen, and genuine care given to improve her condition.

Based on this minor amount of field study, I have been awakened to a generations-old question, that of chivalry. It is the case that my Sweetheart was raised to take extra care for women. When we first met it seemed a bit contrived. Soon we made an agreement to do these kind acts for each other as a situation required. It is the spirit of chivalry, or un-calculated acts of generosity about him that inspires me to be a better person. In my clients there is an immediate reflection of effectiveness, especially among my own gender. This completely demystifies the question of why centuries of men have taken such pains to extend generosity toward women: when she receives the gift, his world becomes a better place!